Do You Feel Old Now

Fall of the Berlin Wall 

Every year Beloit College in Beloit, Wisconsin, publishes “The Mindset List,” facts and figures about the incoming freshmen so professors will be able to relate to their new students. Most of today’s college freshmen were born in 1989 and as far as they’re concerned:

  • Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.
  • Rush Limbaugh and the “Dittoheads” have always been lambasting liberals.
  • They never “rolled down” a car window.
  • Michael Moore has always been angry and funny.
  • They have grown up with bottled water.
  • General Motors has always been working on an electric car.
  • Nelson Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa.
  • Pete Rose has never played baseball.
  • Religious leaders have always been telling politicians what to do, or else!
  • “Off the hook” has never had anything to do with a telephone.
  • Music has always been “unplugged.”
  • Russia has always had a multi-party political system.
  • Women have always been police chiefs in major cities.
  • The NBA season has always gone on and on and on and on.
  • Classmates could include Michelle Wie, Jordin Sparks, and Bart Simpson.
  • Half of them may have been members of the Babysitters Club.
  • Eastern Airlines has never “earned their wings” in their lifetime.
  • Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears and has always employed more workers than GM.
  • Wolf Blitzer has always been serving up the news on CNN.
  • Katie Couric has always had screen cred.
  • Al Gore has always been running for president or thinking about it.
  • They never found a prize in a Coca-Cola “MagiCan.”
  • They were too young to understand Judas Priest’s subliminal messages.
  • Multigrain chips have always provided healthful junk food.
  • They grew up in Wayne’s World.
  • U2 has always been more than a spy plane.
  • They were introduced to Jack Nicholson as “The Joker.”
  • Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.
  • American rock groups have always appeared in Moscow.
  • Commercial product placements have been the norm in films and on TV.
  • They drove their parents crazy with the Beavis and Butt-Head laugh.
  • The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere.
  • Women’s studies majors have always been offered on campus.
  • Thanks to MySpace and Facebook, autobiography can happen in real time.
  • They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.
  • Most phone calls have never been private.
  • High definition television has always been available.
  • Virtual reality has always been available when the real thing failed.
  • Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.
  • Time has always worked with Warner.
  • The purchase of ivory has always been banned.
  • MTV has never featured music videos.
  • The space program has never really caught their attention except in disasters.
  • Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.
  • They’re always texting 1 n other.
  • They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.
  • The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.
  • Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.
  • Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.
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    2 Responses to Do You Feel Old Now

    1. Jacynthe L. Fetzer says:

      Now please make us feel young again!

    2. Sharon says:

      As if I wasn’t already feeling crummy enough on a humpless hump day….
      Thanks for that David….

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