Really Horrific Names

October 17, 2010

A blog for women asked its readers to share the worst names they’ve ever heard. These are all real…

• “There was a person in the San Antonio phone book in the early ‘80s named Weldon Rumproast.”

• “There was a man named Lord where I worked. It was really hard to send him emails.”

• “I used to work with twins called Girleen and Pearleen. GIRLEEN. AND PEARLEEN.”

• “I had a student named Nimrod.”

• “I work with two sisters whose names are Ivory and Sno. Their last name is White. Because of course it is.”

• “At the hospital birthing my son, a girl had just named her daughter Felony. Seriously.”

• “I know a mother who named her daughter Meconium … a baby’s first poo.”

• “I knew a guy named ‘Hi.’ Seriously, that was his given name. I never knew whether to say hi, hey, or hello when I saw him.”

• “I ran across a gentleman whose first name was ‘General.'”

• “I knew someone named Merry Christmas Smith.”

• “My roommate was in kindergarten with ‘Pajamas.'”

• “There’s a girl in my office named Sharmonica.”

• “Latrina. It’s Italian for ‘bathroom.'”

• “Most horrific: Awesome. They named their baby girl ‘Awesome.'”

• “I went to school with a Justice, Precious, Success, Fanny & a Cinderella. They’re all boys.”

• “My old janitor was named Richard Boob.”

• “I knew a Freakus Pelekus (it rhymes) when I was growing up. No joke.”

• “I taught swimming to a kid named ‘Carstairs.'”

• “My friend met a woman at the bus stop whose daughter’s name was Atrocity.”

• “My little brother went to school with a girl named Cholera.”

• “We have a family friend named Cash Register.”

Heard a good one? Share it below…


The Facebook Song

October 1, 2010

Alright, so I came across this song by Rhett and Link about Facebook and thought I’d share it with you. Please leave your comments…if you “like” it, you know what to do…click one of the “share” icons…Facebook it, Digg it or Tweet it! You can also email it, if that’s as social as you get…

[Click the grey triangle below]

After you’ve shared, add me as a friend: http://www.facebook.com/david.tyler.voice


Stupidity: The Movie

March 5, 2010

Stupidity is a film by an old friend of mine who I met back in the 80’s here in Montréal during his Theatre Shmeatre days, Albert Nerenberg.

Stupidity sets out to determine whether our culture is hooked on deliberate ignorance as a strategy for success. From Adam Sandler to George W Bush, from the IQ test to TV programming, to the origins of the word moron, Stupidity examines the “dumbing down” of contemporary culture.

Stupidity embarks on an exhaustive search into its meaning, and the implications of a culture that is obsessed and saturated with stupefying culture. Stupidity careens at warp speed through sound bites on topics from television news and reality shows, to internet sites and popular films.

Featuring opinions and comments from some of today’s most recognizable figures, cultural critics, authors and academics, including John Cleese, Noam Chomsky, Selma Hayek, and Bill Maher, Stupidity reveals that, despite our culture’s extensive access to knowledge and information, humans continue to choose stupidity.

Now you can “get stupid” in the comfort of your home with Stupidity, streamed for free (to viewers in the US and Canada) from AboveTopSecret.com.

CAUTION: Contains some strong language.

Click to watch: Part 1

Click to watch: Part 2

Click to watch: Part 3

Purchase a DVD copy here.


Colour Paints Your Personality

November 24, 2009

Dewey Sadka, author of “The Dewey Color System,” has studied the influence of colors for over 20 years, and he says the powerful link between your favorite hue and your personality traits is astounding.

Green — You’re strong-willed and prefer to find solutions to problems on your own. This firm belief in self-reliance is something you pass on to your kids, along with an enduring faith in their own abilities. You’re able to empathize with others, lending a nonjudgemental ear when needed.

Red — You’re like the Energizer Bunny — a ball of fire who seldom slows down. Reds are leaders with a large circle of friends, and co-workers also look to you for guidance. You have high standards for your kids, but they appreciate your honest interest and sense of fun, too.

Blue — You’re as cool and calm as your favorite color, and your laid-back sensibility works well in crisis situations. You surround yourself with beautiful objects, many of which you created yourself. Fearless when obstacles are in your path, you determinedly meet your highest goals.

Gray — You’re gentle soft-spoken, self-possessed and extremely comfortable in your own skin. You’re also bright as a penny, and people are drawn to your witty intellect. But you’re no smart aleck, preferring to work as a long term player, rather than being the boss.

Purple — You’re a unique individual with a strong creative bend a taste for bold fashions. Your pals love to join you on shopping sprees because you encourage them to break out of the mold. You’re also quite intuitive, instinctively saying the right thing at the right time.

Yellow — You’re a powerful thinker with a positive attitude that brings people together. You face any obstacle with a can-do attitude, searching for new ways to solve problems. Your kids love your imaginative, adventurous spirit, and your inventive vacations are always a blast.

Black — You’re very focused and loyal. A nature lover who dislikes artificial substitutes, you wouldn’t be caught dead with a plastic Christmas tree. You also love to be the center of attention, treating others with the same respect you demand.


Yup, There’s an App for That

November 19, 2009

Pregnancy Q&A

October 6, 2009

stethoscope

Reasons why I would not make a good obstetrician:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.

A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.



This Is for Mothers Everywhere

August 25, 2009

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